Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
