Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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