i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You smell like stripper and shame
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he shaved USA in his pubs
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
