Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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