She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
