I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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