it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
