I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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