There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
