Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
