Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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