Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize