Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
