Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
