i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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