You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
