Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
