I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
