I'm so fucking centered right now
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
