Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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