And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
