Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
