Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
