I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
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just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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