when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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