We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
