Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
