ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
