I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
