I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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