Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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