Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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