i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
