we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
