Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
