So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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