just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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