I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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