you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
