Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
