if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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