your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
