why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
