If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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