So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
