ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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