Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
