So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
