Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Girls should come with a carfax report
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
