I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
