Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
