Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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