We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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