Cold hands, warm shart.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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