Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
