when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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