I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
