My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
