I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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