I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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